The Rules of the Shame Mask

Here a the rules that I will use to advance the Shame Mask through the ranks of the NCAA Division I-A football. For the 2005 season, there are 117 I-A teams.

1. Once a team gets the Shame Mask, they must wear it until they beat another Division I-A team, at which point they pass it on.

2. Beating a team that plays at a lower level, such as Division I-AA, II or III, is not good enough. There is a certain degree of shame involved in a I-A team playing a team at a lower level, and this should not be rewarded. A loss to a lower division team will result in a further penalty of another bell being added to the mask for the duration of the time that the team wears it.

3. Rule 2. is in part designed to keep the Division I-A Shame Mask in Division I-A. Should a team be in possession of the mask at such time that they drop from Division I-A to a lower division, then the possession of the mask will revert to the last Division I-A team to have lost to this team.

4. The NCAA adopted an overtime scheme prior to the 1996 season so that there would be no more ties. Before this date though, there were ties. If there is a tie involving two Division I-A teams where one of them is in possession of the Shame Mask, then the Shame Mask will spontaneously undergo asexual reproduction via budding, and the other team shall be forced to wear this new Shame Mask. Should at a later date two teams that are each wearing a Shame Mask play each other, the two masks shall combine and go to the loser. In this case a tie would not generate a new one.